Self-esteem is best described as a person's overall sense of their person value/worth; it is how much worth an individual believes they have in spite of whatever circumstances they find themselves in. Often, self-esteem is defined by factors that include...
- Self-confidence
- Feelings of security
- Identity
- Sense of belonging
- Feeling of competence
Self-esteem is similar to developing personality traits, as self-esteem is generally pretty low in childhood and increases in adolescence and adulthood, ultimately plateauing at a fairly stable level.
Why is self-esteem important?
Self-esteem has the ability to impact how one makes decisions, relationships, and emotional health. People with a healthy level of self-esteem have a more positive view of themselves and believe in their own potential more, meaning they may take on new challenges as a result. People with healthy levels of self-esteem...
- Understand their skills and potential
- Can maintain healthy relationships with others, using the healthy relationship with themselves as a base
- Have realistic expectations of themselves and their abilities and can extend these realistic expectations to others
- Understand their personal needs and can express them when they are not being met by those around them
What if self-esteem is too low or too high?
It is common for individuals with low self-esteem to feel less sure of their capabilities and may not be sure in their ability to make decisions. They may be less innovative and willing to take risks because they are not confident that they can meet the challenge. Additionally, they may not be able to express their needs/desires in relationships, feeling that they are unworthy of those needs being met.
For individuals who have overly high self-esteem, they may overestimate their skill level and may feel entitled to succeed, even if they lack the abilities to actually reach the lofty goal they have described. They may also struggle with relationships and from self-growth and vulnerability due to a fixation that their way of being is already perfect.
What are some factors that affect self-esteem?
- Age
- Disability
- Genetics
- Illness
- Physical abilities
- Socioeconomic status
- Thought patterns
What do individuals with healthy self-esteem do?
- Avoid ruminating on past negative experiences/actions
- Believe they are equal to others, not better or worse
- Express needs and desires
- Feel confident
- Have a positive outlook on life
- Say no when needed and when it will serve one's needs
- See themselves as a combination of strengths and weaknesses and won't fixate on the negatives; accepts themselves as a whole individual
- Set boundaries in relationships, maintaining a healthy relationship with themselves and others
What do individuals with low self-esteem do?
- Believe that others are better than oneself
- Have difficulty expressing their needs
- Focus on weaknesses instead of strengths and weaknesses
- Experience self-doubt, fear, and worry frequently
- Feel overall negatively about life and feel out of control
- Fear failure intensely
- Difficulty accepting positive feedback
- Difficulty saying no and setting boundaries
- Put others' needs before one's own
- Struggle with confidence
What do individuals with excessive self-esteem do?
- Have a preoccupation with perfection
- Focus on always being correct
- Believe that failure is not possible
- Believe that they are more skilled than other people
- Overestimate their abilities
How can self-esteem be improved?
- Become aware of distorted thoughts --- identifying the negative thoughts that are impacting one's view of oneself is the first step in shifting one's approach to those thoughts
- Challenge negative thinking patterns --- when faced with negative thought patterns, it is beneficial to practice the skill of countering those patterns and thoughts with more realistic and/or positive ones to shift the focus to being a holistic individual with strengths and weaknesses
- Practice positive self-task --- identify when negative self-talk begins to set in and how that affects self-esteem. Counter these thoughts with more positive ones.
- Practice self-compassion --- practicing self-forgiveness for past mistakes and learning how to move forward with all aspects of one's self will help on the self-esteem journey.
Here at Madrigal, we are committed to addressing self-esteem-related issues holistically to help you reach your best potential.
*This information was adapted from VeryWell Mind. Click here to learn more information.*